Screw You, Justin Long

09.02.11 6 years ago 31 Comments

I think “New Girl,” starring Zooey Deschanel, looks like one of the more promising sitcoms from Fox this fall, but my chances of watching just dropped by four million percent because Justin Long has been cast as Deschanel’s love interest.

Long will play Paul, Jess’ (Deschanel) music teacher. The feature actor, who most recently provided the voice of Alvin in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, will recur for three episodes, first appearing in Episode 106. He begins shooting Sept. 19. [THR]

Justin Long blows. He rose to fame for Macintosh ads that made the company’s chief rival look more sympathetic. He dated Drew Barrymore, so she cast him as the lead in a romantic comedy. His movies include He’s Just Not That Into You and Dodgeball. He needs to wash his hair. His eyebrows look stupid. He’s like a less attractive, less talented version of Jason Schwartzman, as bland and inexplicably successful as Shia LaBoeuf.

And his next job is kissing Zooey Deschanel. Hollywood sucks.

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