Hey you guys! Do you remember when Shia Labeouf totally retired from public life because all the bad people were attacking his artistic integrity and saying mean things about him? The integrity he apparently created by stealing the work and words of other people, which wasn’t plagiarism, y’all — IT WAS ART. Yeah, well, about that retirement … there’s apparently a loophole that allows him to re-enter public life via Twitter when other celebrities make fun of him.
Three days Shia made it without tweeting, but then Jim Carrey had to go and make that joke at the Golden Globes at poor Shia’s expense, and Shia had to shoot back by tweeting the meanest, dumbest, most incomprehensible thing that popped out of his unthinking mind.
Wait, what? I’m sorry. Is that supposed to mean something? Was he plagiarizing someone’s Mad Libs? Did he combine to fortune cookies and try to make a sentence out of them? Was he trying to decipher Ace Ventura’s flatulence?
Anyway, a few hours later, I guess E! post something, and then Shia responded to that by insinuating that Jim Carrey is a bad father (in tweets since deleted, via EW):
@eonline At least I don’t get arrested for indecency on major LA highways! Or abandon love child’s.—
Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) January 13, 2014
That love child to which Shia refers is Jane Carrey, the love child with whom Jim Carrey is quite close, and with whom he tagged along to support during her American Idol audition, and with whom Jim Carrey can be seen in countless of photos online. I also have no idea to what he’s referring with that arrest.
Anyway, LaBeouf unretired again a few hours later to apologize for his stupid tweet, saying:
Jim Carrey states that he is deeply involved in his daughter’s life – I accept that,regret tweet on the matter. Apologies to both parents.— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) January 13, 2014
Shia, who is following only one person on Twitter — Jane Carrey — then tweeted once more to let us all know that we’ve already forgotten about him. Or something.
God knows what’s going on inside that guy’s head. The important thing is … actually, there’s nothing important at all about any of this. Please go on with your lives.