Site News: The Comments Change, And That’s Just The Way It Is

I know it probably feels like we’re giving you an update on various changes to the comments or site every other week, but these are exciting times here at Uproxx, and things are changing for the better. I’m especially excited about the features we’re rolling out here, as they’ll make things more interactive (giving us the ability to do live blogs during shows like the Uproxx mothership does for “Archer”), and give me another location to post videos of rap and R&B songs from the mid-to-late 1990s. I think that’s important.

Let’s discuss them after the jump, shall we?

– The chronological order of the comments is getting flip-turned-upside down. Instead of the newest comment being added to the bottom of the post, it will now appear up top. I’m sure this will take a little getting used to at first, but it’s definitely for the better. Eventually, the comments will be set to update live (as in, you won’t have to hit refresh to see new ones), so the hope is that this will be another important step in making the comments sections across the Uproxx network more interactive, with new sparkling insights into who is or is not sexy/fat/stupid appearing as if by magic on your screen directly under the post. THE FUTURE’S SO BRIGHT YOU’LL NEED TO WEAR SHADES (because you’re quite hungover, probably).

– We are adding video/picture functionality to the comments, on a very limited basis. And by “on a very limited basis,” I mean “only for Josh, Dustin, and me, at least for now.” This brings me to two important points: First of all, as soon as these changes take place, I will be responding to substandard comments with this GIF:

And, second of all, we will be granting this privilege to a small number of core, talented commenters over the next week or so. Do YOU want to be extended this honor? Consider this week your tryout. Bring your A game. To give you an idea how this decision will be made, I have compiled this helpful tip sheet:

Things that will help you get selected:

  • Funny comments.
  • Interesting thoughts/ideas/links that build on something from the post and add to the discussion.

Things that will NOT help you get selected:

  • Whining or complaining about content.
  • Announcing whether or not you would have sex with a particular celebrity.
  • Announcing whether or not a particular celebrity is fat.
  • Other miscellaneous douchebaggery and mouthbreathery. (For example: Rod Carbon’s witty and insightful comment, “2/10” in the Jennifer Love Hewitt post from last week.)

None of this is to say you can’t write whatever you want down there. You can still rant and rave about any little dumb, meatheaded thing your heart desires. It just means that if you want to do that, you won’t get to post pictures/GIFs/videos. Also, I will hate you. But as long as you can deal with those two things, go sick. Everyone else, let’s see what you got.

Sing it, Pac.

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