‘SNL’ Scorecard: Russell Crowe Did Bear Us A Dud Of A Show

There were a couple of nice moments in Russell Crowe’s first time as host of Saturday Night Live (Bruce Chandling!!!), but just a couple of sketches in, this one started to feel like one of those, “Well, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is hosting next week, so let’s just try to get through this one so we can move on,” type of nights. Anyway, here’s today’s Scorecard.

Sketch of the Night

“Pogie Pepperoni’s” (Bennett, Mooney, Jones, Davidson, Bryant) When these two clowns finally meet the owner of Pogie Pepperoni’s and their heads literally exploded, I laughed way harder than I probably should have. Actually, my favorite moment were the looks on Bennett and Mooney’s faces when they saw Pogie himself walking through the store. Of course, it’s just some dude inside who is going out for a smoke. This is funny because we’ve all been these two at points in our lives. (I mean, it’s not just me, right? Right?!?!)

Score: 8.0

The Good

“Shanice Goodwin” (Jones, Moynihan, Crowe, Bayer, Thompson, Killam, Rudnitsky) Of course this is the kind of show in which Kenan Thompson chokes on some water and we all laugh because there were very few moments to laugh at during this show. The weird thing is, this isn’t that great of a sketch on the surface: it was pretty sloppy. But Leslie Jones sells it. My gosh, does she sell it. This is kind of, sort of a riff on her character on The Awesomes, but I do I hope we see her live-action ninja story again.

Score:7.7

“Weekend Update” (Jost, Che, McKinnon) It’s a minor miracle when Bruce Chandling somehow makes it to the live show. I was at dress rehearsal once when a Bruce Chandling sketch aired: It’s true, the studio audience does not get it. it was almost complete silence. I was rolling. It was one of those moments, I was trying not to laugh so hard because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself because literally no one else (other than the person I was with) was laughing – which, of course, caused me to laugh even harder. Of course, it was cut before the live show. Anyway, my point is Bruce Chandling is a treasure.

I also love how Kate McKinnon eating can cause Colin Jost to laugh. Nothing seems to make Jost laugh harder than McKinnon’s Deenie eating food. And then this makes me laugh. It’s a never-ending cycle.

Score: 7.5

“Oprah” (O’Brien, Ensemble) What an odd thing to sneak in right at the end of the show. This isn’t my favorite of Mike O’Brien’s creations. (This was a lot less “weird” than his usual stuff.) But, his utter lack of enthusiasm when playing Oprah was great. His calm demeanor as he informed people they were all getting cars was endearing, only because we are all so aware of how excited the actual Oprah was in this moment. In the least enthusiastic delivery possible, “All of you knuckleheads are getting cars.”

Score: 7.0

“Cold Open: Hillary Clinton Addresses Her Losing Streak” (McKinnon, Thompson) Kate McKinnon’s Hillary Clinton is quietly getting better and better. There are little voice inflections that McKinnon has added that are barely noticeable, but they really do complete the experience. (Also, I loved the look on the faces of the people in the background as McKinnon’s Clinton tried and failed to jump the subway turnstile at the station under 30 Rock.)

Score: 6.5

The Bad

“Preparation H Ad” (Killam, Bennett, McKinnon, Zamata, Pharoah) This is one of those weird sketches that, on paper, seems like it should be really funny. But, for whatever reason, it never came together.

Score: 5.0

“100 Days in the Jungle” (Crowe, Bennett, Davidson, Bryant, Strong, Bayer, Killam, Moynihan, Jones) You know, I’m not trying to pick on Russell Crowe, but it felt like everything he wasn’t in turned out to be pretty okay. Pete Davidson gave a valiant effort to save this. The indignation on his face the whole time was great. The problem is there was just too much of Crowe mugging. I mean, the guy is trying and all, it just wasn’t working.

Score: 5.0

“Politics Nation: Voter ID Disaster” (Thompson, Zamata, Sharpton) There were a couple of good jokes in here. I do appreciate how much Kenan Thompson seems to enjoy doing these, but they always feel as slow as molasses. Then the real Al Sharpton shows up and the whole thing slows down even more. This seemed like a bad choice to run early in the show. This sketch has a weird way of killing momentum. (To be fair, there really wasn’t any momentum at this point anyway so it probably didn’t matter.)

Score: 4.0

“Russell Crowe Monologue” (Crowe) It was a weird moment when Russell Crowe was joking that when he saw Ryan Gosling host, he knew anyone could do this – a line that was delivered in the most stoic and awkward way possible. Look, it’s nice that Crowe decided he wanted to try something that’s not in his wheelhouse – namely comedy, which he mocked himself for pretty much the whole monologue – but, no, he wasn’t particularly good at it. Maybe sometimes we shouldn’t do things that “aren’t in our wheelhouse.” For example, I probably shouldn’t operate on someone’s foot.

Score: 4.0

The Ugly

“Match Finders” (Thonpson, Strong, Bennett, Davidson, Crowe) I can’t tell if, at the end, when Kenan Thompson called it The Dating Game, if that was in the script or of that was a mistake, Either way, it sounded like everyone had given up on whatever it was that was happening here. (It was a big night for Russell Crowe’s characters making sexual advances.)

Score: 3.5

“Interactive Museum Exhibit” (Crowe, Ensemble) Okay, sure, I can see how repeating “bear me a son” over and over might be pretty funny in a writers’ room. Seriously. But this hit with a thud.

Score: 3.0

Average Score for this Show: 5.56

· Ariana Grande 7.21
· Tracy Morgan 7.12
· Larry David 7.08
· Elizabeth Banks 6.98
· Amy Schumer 6.53
· Peter Dinklage 6.37
· Chris Hemsworth 6.35
· Ryan Gosling 6.07
· Adam Driver 5.98
· Tina Fey and Amy Poehler 5.90
· Melissa McCarthy 5.79
· Matthew McConaughey 5.78
· Russell Crowe 5.56
· Miley Cyrus 5.41
· Ronda Rousey 5.09
· Jonah Hill 4.80
· Donald Trump 4.48

Mike Ryan lives in New York City and has written for The Huffington Post, Wired, Vanity Fair and New York magazine. He is senior entertainment writer at Uproxx. You can contact him directly on Twitter.

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