Forbes released their 2012 Highest Paid Actresses list today, and Sofia Vergara beat out a collection of competitors that included Eva Longoria, Tina Fey, and an array of Kardashians to claim the title. Thanks to her role on Modern Family, a number of endorsement campaigns, and a clothing line with KMart, Forbes estimates that Vergara took home $19 million, which isn’t a bad payday for someone whose career resurgence can be attributed mostly to running around in low-cut tops and shouting “AY! JAY! WHAT DO I DO WEETH THEES THEENGY? I’M FROM COLOMBIA!” on one of America’s top-rated sitcoms. Then again, Kim Kardashian earned $18 million over the same period, so, you know, boobs. If I were Amy Poehler — who doesn’t appear anywhere in the top twenty, for the record — I’d be furious.
I do have one issue with this list, however: Kim Kardashian is not an actress. Neither is Khloe Kardashian or Bethany Frankel. They star on reality shows, which by definition does not constitute “acting.” If you’re going to include them, you might as well include Judge Judy. She’s playing a version of herself on television, too, and she makes a hell of a lot more than $19 million. Hey, you know what would be awesome? An episode of Judge Judy where someone sues Kim Kardashian and every time Kim tries to mount a defense Judge Judy lays into her and her stupid toddler-with-a-sinus-infection voice. Yup, I would definitely watch that.
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