The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was off last week and missed reporting on the new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. But Colbert, a known geek and fan of Star Wars, definitely watched it and found himself expressing his emotions by both giggling and weeping, a bodily activity that he has called “geepling,” which is something we should aspire to do when watching beloved properties roll out new footage. In fact, if something doesn’t elicit geepling, is it even worth watching?
Anyway, to the important part: The plot of The Force Awakens. We don’t know it yet. Colbert is buddies with J.J. Abrams and he (Colbert) still doesn’t know it, but he has a pretty good idea of what it is. And it’s not a comedy bit; it’s a genuine guess at what the movie might be about. However, he might be so spot on that he spoiled it for himself.
Take a look and see what he predicts:
“It has been three decades since the events of the original trilogy. The dark and mysterious First Order has stepped into the power vacuum once held by the Empire, and the newly named Resistance fights in place of the Rebel Alliance, which has begun a tragic shift to the dark side.
“But John Boyega’s character is in a storm trooper suit, so it follows that now the new New Hope comes from the very enemy we’ve been trained to hate. Remember, the Dark Side was never explicitly tied to the Empire. The Force itself exists outside of mere temporal authority structures. So I predict that dark becomes light, light becomes dark, and the very fabric of the Force is stretched to its limit, as a new generation emerges to tear down the false distinctions of the past and unite all of us. Old or new, moisture farmers and nerfherders, star and wars, once and for all bringing peace to the galaxy.”
So, there you go. When the official synopsis comes out, let’s see if Colbert called it.
