11.13.09 8 years ago 22 Comments

As you can see above, a new ad campaign is encouraging young people to be cool and fight conformity… by eating Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise. TO THE EXTREME! Stephen Colbert ably demolished this commercial last month (see video below), and Miracle Whip responded by buying up ad space in every one of Colbert’s commercial breaks last night. They also published this open letter to Colbert (emphasis added):

“With every commercial break, your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) ‘mayo nay-sayers’ snarfing sandwiches topped with our one-of-a-kind flavor in a very cool and totally hip way. They will be in your face and massively dope. It goes without saying, they WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. And you will begin to see the soft, bland white walls of the mayo empire begin to collapse under the weight of its own whipped-egg pretentiousness.”

Wait a second. That’s a little too intentionally Itchy & Scratchy & Poochy, even for advertising demons. I think Miracle Whip just went and made their whole ad campaign ironic. That’s almost kind of cool, if it weren’t for a freaking condiment. Please, just go back to pandering to fat people.

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