Louis C.K., our much funnier, much smarter, much more famous wisdom-dispensing conscience, hosted a Reddit Ask Me Anything yesterday, to spread the word about his new HBO stand-up special on Saturday, Oh My God (as if we weren’t already talking about it). Topics covered included the last five websites he had visited, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, his favorite comedians and books, cooking, poop, Die Hard, and the worst joke he ever told.
Also, Louis sh*ts on everyone, which is never not amusing. Here are 25 of the best questions and answers.
Louie, what is pissing you off more than anything else this week? I hope it isn’t this question.
Hope away, bitch. You just ruined my fucking month.
Who are some of your favorite stand up comedians? What’s your favorite Christmas movie and why is it Die Hard? How many dicks were in the largest bag of dicks you’ve ever encountered?
“What’s your favorite Christmas movie and why is it Die Hard?” made me laugh.
How is Ewan McGregor?
you’ll have to ask Ewan Mcgregor that. I can tell you that his cock is fine. Because it’s in my mouth right now. I am not joking. I am blowing Ewan Mcgregor right this second.
For funsies: What’s your favorite short joke/one-liner?
Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he’s a fucking liar.
Many comedians, including yourself, sometimes joke or fool around about certain subjects that many people think is over the line inappropriate, My question is, Is there anything that you personally think goes over the line and you would never joke about or make fun of?
nope. I like joking about everything. This will sound too lofty because it is. This is going to an extreme to make a point: Saying a subject is too awful or painful to joke about is like saying a disease is too awful to be treated. Please do not take that out of context, the context being that I realize this is a crazy statement and I’m going to an extreme to make a point.
What’s the shittiest, least funny joke you’ve ever told during a stand up routine?
“I saw Walter Mondale said on the news “I am ready to be president of the united states. Well. Phew. Finally he’s ready.” I did that “joke” my first time on stage in 1984. nightmare.
If offered the opportunity, would you go on Whose Line Is It Anyway?
No I would not.
what comedians today make you laugh?
Hannibal Buress. Zach Galifanakiciksiswiwiwiww88899is
If you didnt go into comedy but were still as funny as you are, what other profession would you choose to exploit your talent? AND, my friend creeping over my shoulder wants to say hi.
I wanted to be a lawyer and argue cases of civil rights before the supreme court. Or a car mechanic. I would have sucked at both. Tell your friend to go outside and think about changing.
What are some of your favorite things to cook for your daughters? Do you cook for yourself as much when they’re away? Any favorite tools in the kitchen?
I try to rotate the menu so they don’t get sick of stuff. I used to make rice and beans a lot and that’s getting old now. I love making sautéed brussel sprouts but only one of my kids likes it. I love baking chickens. We do that a lot. lots of lemon garlic and olive oil, salt, paprika, pepper. Just tons of all that and cook that fucker at 450 for an hour then turn it down.
Just wanted to say that I’m at work right now doing a covert ops mission to get on this AMA. I know from your previous AMAs that you usually only take one Q per account, but I’m just gonna put it all out there just in case. Answer what you want, etc. I’ll take my answer off air, thanks. I love you.
Is the “S” in “Louis” a hard “S,” or is it just pronounced “Louie”? When your full stage name is pronounced, the end of your first name bleeds into the C, so they could either be saying the full “LouIS,” or “LouieC.” It’s confusing because no one calls you plain “LouIS” without the C. K. at the end. I know this question is a bit pedantic, but it’s been nagging at me for some time now.
In recent years in your sets you’ve taken to confiding in the audience that long stories you’d only just told were totally made up. It’s almost a staple of yours at this point. I know all comedians make shit up for laughs, but I can’t think of any other comics admitting to it as they’re performing. Do you fear that you lose the audience somehow as you continue to tell stories during your set proceeding the admittance? Are you going to keep doing this?
About what percentage of your act would you say is just completely fiction at this point? Have your sets gotten more fictional as your career has progressed? I love the surreal bits, like the one about you throwing your watch in the pool for your daughter to find.
Thanks, man! Saw you in Tampa in November and you just absolutely killed it. The sheer amount of consistent, quality content you’ve been putting out has just been staggering. Totally inspiring.
I mean, you’re fucking high if you think I’m going to sit here are read 3 parts of anything.
I’m a huge fan of your stand up and your show. Good job! Keep making the world smile.
you realize if the world smiled there would be millions dead?
Louis what inspired you to jizz on a nickel-plated trumpet?
Would you consider getting Tig Notaro on Louie?
she’s a really funny actor. We’ll see.
Did you ever get to talk to or bump into Donald Rumsfeld again after the Opie and Anthony interview? Were there any repercussions?
Donald Rumsfeld is my uncle. I’m not kidding. I see him every sunday at our family meeting. Whoops. I mean. No. I’m not a lizard too. LIke him. Oh shit. I better erase this and not press
Who is your favorite female comedian?
Don’t know. Maria Bamford is great. Tig Notaro. Laura Kightlinger. Kathy Griffin. Sarah Silverman. Jessica Kirson KILLS. Marina franklin can be inspired in moments. she’s not a comedian but Mellissa mccarthy is hilarious. I know i’m leaving some out. Going back Joan Rivers. Carol Brunette Phillis Diller Lilly tomlin. Margaret Smith had great jokes. Rosanne had some great stuff. Moms Mabley. I used to open for Paula Poundstone who is a phenomenal performer. Joy Behar, used to work with her in clubs in new york. She was GREAT in the clubs. Um… There’s a woman named Laura House who i don’t think does standup anymore. Susie Essman. Lots of great women comedians. Lots of shitty ones. More shitty men comedians.
What are some of your favorite contemporary bands?
i wish i could say. I know nothing about who anyone is in music. I like kazoos.
Can you describe the worst shit you have ever taken?
I can describe the best one I ever took. It was black and brown and all over your sleeping face. Remember? yeah. That was me. All the rest of every shit in my life are tied for second.
My questions never get seen/answered but fuck it…As someone who got success, let’s say…well out of his twenties (sorry)…how did you know this is what you wanted to do even when it wasn’t always working out that well? Like how hard is it to not just say FUCK THIS and just give up/try something else? I’m 25 and I wish I had as much motivation to get shit done as you seem to.
Sorry for being kind of a downer but I do think you’re great and if I ever run into you in New York sometime, I would be so excited to awkwardly shake your hand and not take a picture with you.
The reason you never get answers is because you kind of meander toward the point and everyone wants to kill you. also “How hard is it to not just say fuck this and give up” is about a quadruple negative so I don’t actually know what you’re asking. You’ll be fine. you’re 25. feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. take a breath. You’ll be okay. even if you don’t feel okay all the time.
What are the last 5 different websites in your browser history, excepting reddit?
good question! The ones I’m willing to divulge are…the onion cnn npr.com elton john lyrics ebay search “davenport desk”
Which late night host do you enjoy getting interviewed by most?
It’s hard to say. Letterman is always a thrill. Jay is fun because I know him well and he doesn’t want to know everything ahead of time. he likes to be surprised. Conan and I are old friends so it always feels nice. Jimmy Kimmel has a great sense of how to keep it funny and his crowds are tremendous. Jimmy Fallon is all goodwill and fun too. Sorry I don’t have anything bad to say. Maybe John Stewart is my favorite.
Hey Louis, what TV are you watching if, if any at all?
i watched a show where they take you around the ocean floor and they said there are storms underwater more powerful than any hurricane. They could have been lying through their teeth and I wouldn’t have known or cared. Awesome.
(I just wanted to use this GIF) (Via)
What’s your best joke about North Korea or Kim Jong Un? Seems relevant.
he is very lucky he didn’t do this shit back in the anytime but now. can you imagine the shit comedians and tv hosts would be saying about him? Anyway my feeling is that he is the first self-googling tyrant. I think he says stuff and then checks twitter and google to see how it’s going and what people are saying.
In your show and in some of your stand up you come across as patriotic, which seems somewhat out of character for you, given you are seemingly so apathetic towards most things. Do you truly have pride and or respect for your country? and are you as apathetic as you come across?
I have mixed feelings about everything including America which i think is normal and healthy. I tell you what really makes me sick is the phrase “american exceptionalism” the idea that we just start with the premise that we are better and so anything we do that benefits us is okay. I mean there’s nothing more insane or inhuman than that. I am a huge fan of people. Most of them. And there are character traits that combine americans that I have enormous affection and love for. and there are things about americaNS and America that I don’t like. I don’t think it’s a healthy attitude toward any group place or person to just love unconditionally to the exclusion of others without examining and trying to fix faults. Okay that’s enough of this shit.
jesus. i’m a comedian. who cares.
Who is your favorite author or what is favorite book?
I loved the Great Gatsby. I can’t believe they did it in 3D. What the fuck? Dahrma bums. these are just random. My Travels with Charlie. Grapes of Wrath. Crime and Punishment. Slaughterhouse 5. All vonugut when i was a youngster. Catcher in the Rye. 9 Stories. SOmething by Thomas Mann I can’t remember. Heart of Darkness. I claudius. The Golden Ass. Hercules my shipmate. Fire from Heaven. Persian boy. The chronicles of narnia when I was a kid and now my daughters. TR biography. lots others.