The Comprehensive ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ Timeline Of Charlie’s Losing Battle With Illiteracy

By: 08.20.14  •  47 Comments
kitten-mittons

FX

The illiteracy of Charlie Kelly has been one of the better and most documented running jokes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, along with Mac’s latent homosexuality and Dennis being a sexual predator. But of course, Charlie didn’t start out the series illiterate, as the cast were for the most part semi-functioning human beings when the series started — only to devolve further and further into depraved caricatures of themselves. (Not a bad thing, here.) So in honor of Charlie’s illiteracy, I thought I’d take a stroll back to see exactly how it started and progressed, and how he became the uneducated berserker he is today.

Season Two: “The Gang Goes Jihad”

jihad

FX

Season two is the first season where Charlie’s illiteracy is introduced. When the gang tries to make a “Jihad” tape to scare off an Israeli businessman who has claimed ownership of Paddy’s Pub, Dennis and Charlie argue when he refuses to read Charlie’s script, which he claims is “riddled with spelling errors.” Instead he and Mac speak fake Arabic.

Season Two: “The Gang Runs For Office”

campaign-speech

FX

Again, Dennis at first refuses to read another script Charlie writes for a speech for his comptroller campaign, but eventually gives in and of course it’s broken English which barely makes sense. The beauty of this scene is the cut to Charlie, who apparently has the speech memorized and mouths the words as Dennis is reading them:

I’ll read the words you wrote. “Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. What? Taxes, they’ll be lower… son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do.” This doesn’t make any sense!

Season Three: “The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation”

pirate

FX

In an attempt to spy on the competition for a pub crawl, Charlie thinks a door marked “PRIVATE” reads “PIRATE.” I think this is almost to the point where Always Sunny hits peak Charlie illiteracy.

Season Three: Bums: “Making a Mess All Over the City”

4-the-mare

FX

In an effort to clean up the bum problem in the city, Dennis and Mac pose as cops while Charlie goes “undercover” as a Serpico-type character. When everyone starts fighting with each other, of course, Charlie tapes a conversation of Dennis and Mac have about trying to frame Frank over a Spin Doctor’s cassette, which he leaves at City Hall in a package marked “4 THE MARE.”

“OK Mr. Mayor, feast your eyes on THAT Spin Doctor’s mix!”

Season Three: “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”

dance-off

FX

Charlie’s illiteracy nearly causes the gang to lose Paddy’s Pub, when he signs the bar up for a dance marathon and offers Paddy’s as the grand prize, thinking he was listing it under the “pride” section.

Mac: “Your illiteracy has screwed us again!”

Charlie: “YOUR illiteracy has screwed us –”

Mac: “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.”

Around The Web

Featured

How To BBQ Brisket In An Old Propane Tank: A Father-Son Story

Director Tobias Lindholm Discusses Meeting With Taliban Warriors For His Oscar-Nominated ‘A War’

Learn Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Eggnog With Tyson Buhler Of Death And Company

Steph Curry Is ‘Just A Shooter’? Charles Barkley Gives Us His Harsh Criticism Of The MVP

Ben Schwartz Talks About Keeping Busy And The Physics Of His Jean-Ralphio Hair

The Nod: The ‘Crash’ Upset, 10 Years Later

By:  •  13 Comments

EAT THIS CITY: Chef Carrie Nahabedian Shares Her ‘Can’t Miss’ Food Experiences In Chicago

DJ Jazzy Jeff Talks World Tour With Will Smith, Culture of DJing, And Academy Awards Boycotts

‘An Endless Weekend’: What’s It Like To Go To The Super Bowl With 50 Of Your Closest Friends And Family?

Follow These Eight Travelers On Snapchat And They’ll Show You The World

What It’s Like To Watch The Super Bowl In A Strip Club

Nikki Glaser On Her New Series ‘Not Safe With Nikki Glaser’ And Being A ‘Curious Perv’