The Region 8 Environmental Protection Agency office in Denver, Colorado has got a serial pooper on their hands, as reported by the Government Executive blog. Confession: I will never not love a story about a serial pooper. It makes me want to get inside the heads of these people. As I’ve mentioned before, I prefer to do my pooping at home alone with all of the curtains drawn — so what motivates/liberates these fascinating individuals? What makes a person decide, hey, instead of sitting comfortably on a toilet seat and doing my business in relative privacy, I’ll just go in my neighbor’s driveway, or — in this case — the hallway outside of the EPA bathroom?
In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.
“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor.
POOP BANDIT! I like it. What do you think, Tina?
OK, we’ll just stick with “mad pooper,” then.