The Flip Side Of Crap Bag : The 15 Most Undeniably Bad Ass Character Names In The History Of TV

08.07.13 4 years ago 150 Comments


What you name your child is the most important decision in a child’s life. I’m not even kidding: A child’s name affects its self esteem, it will create socioeconomic expectations, it can affect a child’s spelling ability (for instance, if you give a child a less common spelling of a common name), and if you give your son a “girly” name is can lead to misbehavior, as the boy may act out aggressively in order to defy gender assumptions.

Likewise, it is also important to name your television characters well. Television writers don’t have a choice in their own names (if they did, they’d name themsleves Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All, but they do have a choice in their character’s names, so it’s important not to give your characters weak or silly names like, say, Crap Bag (It’s easy to remember. Just think of a bag of crap.), especially if that character is meant to be a bad ass.

I got to thinking about this last night, and started brainstorming strong, bold character names. I was trying to think of the most powerful, badass character names in all of television, and I narrowed it down to the definitive list of 15, which will remain definitive for about 30 seconds, until someone in the comments reminds me of an even better bad ass name that I forgot.

So, maybe, let’s just consider this a starting point. My only criteria was this: The name’s bad-assness had to be distinct from the actor playing the character, and only one name per show so that Game of Thrones doesn’t completely dominate the list (sorry, Mace Tyrell).

Here are the 15 Most Undeniable Bad Ass Character Names in the History of Television…

15. Brisco County, Jr., “Brisco County, Jr.”

14. Boyd Crowder, “Justified”

13. Jeremiah Holdsclaw, “Smallville”

12. Robert T. Ironside, “Ironside”

11. Raymond Luxury Yacht” (Pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove”), “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”

10. Smash Williams, “Friday Night Lights”

9. The Doctor, “Doctor Who”

8. Gaius Baltar, “Battlestar Galactica”

7. Harvey Spector, “Suits”

6. Michonne, “The Walking Dead”

5. Khal Drogo, “Game of Thrones”

4. Sam Axe, “Burn Notice”

3. Sledge Hammer, “Sledgehammer”

2. Magnetic Attitude (“Magnitude”), “Community”

1. James Tiberius Kirk, “Star Trek”

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