The Flip Side Of Crap Bag : The 15 Most Undeniably Bad Ass Character Names In The History Of TV

08.07.13 4 years ago 150 Comments

tumblr_lkgfogdLmM1qb9wbqo1_500

What you name your child is the most important decision in a child’s life. I’m not even kidding: A child’s name affects its self esteem, it will create socioeconomic expectations, it can affect a child’s spelling ability (for instance, if you give a child a less common spelling of a common name), and if you give your son a “girly” name is can lead to misbehavior, as the boy may act out aggressively in order to defy gender assumptions.

Likewise, it is also important to name your television characters well. Television writers don’t have a choice in their own names (if they did, they’d name themsleves Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All, but they do have a choice in their character’s names, so it’s important not to give your characters weak or silly names like, say, Crap Bag (It’s easy to remember. Just think of a bag of crap.), especially if that character is meant to be a bad ass.

I got to thinking about this last night, and started brainstorming strong, bold character names. I was trying to think of the most powerful, badass character names in all of television, and I narrowed it down to the definitive list of 15, which will remain definitive for about 30 seconds, until someone in the comments reminds me of an even better bad ass name that I forgot.

So, maybe, let’s just consider this a starting point. My only criteria was this: The name’s bad-assness had to be distinct from the actor playing the character, and only one name per show so that Game of Thrones doesn’t completely dominate the list (sorry, Mace Tyrell).

Here are the 15 Most Undeniable Bad Ass Character Names in the History of Television…

15. Brisco County, Jr., “Brisco County, Jr.”

14. Boyd Crowder, “Justified”

13. Jeremiah Holdsclaw, “Smallville”

12. Robert T. Ironside, “Ironside”

11. Raymond Luxury Yacht” (Pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove”), “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”

10. Smash Williams, “Friday Night Lights”

9. The Doctor, “Doctor Who”

8. Gaius Baltar, “Battlestar Galactica”

7. Harvey Spector, “Suits”

6. Michonne, “The Walking Dead”

5. Khal Drogo, “Game of Thrones”

4. Sam Axe, “Burn Notice”

3. Sledge Hammer, “Sledgehammer”

2. Magnetic Attitude (“Magnitude”), “Community”

1. James Tiberius Kirk, “Star Trek”

Around The Web

The Fascinating Rise Of Third Man Records As The Most Influential Vinyl Label In America

03.21.17 4 days ago 2 Comments

A Little Booze And A Lot Of Big Ideas Are Keeping Movie Theaters Relevant

03.17.17 1 week ago 7 Comments

The Unheralded True Story Of The NBA’s First Black Player

03.14.17 2 weeks ago

How TV And Evolving Media Technology Changed The American Presidency

03.07.17 3 weeks ago 2 Comments

How The Spice Girls’ Legacy Of ‘Girl Power’ Paved The Way For Women To Dominate Pop

02.27.17 4 weeks ago 4 Comments

How Keeping Austin Weird Turned Into A Widespread Phenomenon

02.15.17 1 month ago 12 Comments

How Kevin Gates Went From Underground To Platinum In A Year And Changed The Game In The Process

02.02.17 2 months ago 6 Comments

Look For The Star: How Starter Jackets Became The Iconic Clothing Of The Early ’90s

01.31.17 2 months ago 10 Comments

‘Dream, Try, Do Good’: The Oral History Of ‘Boy Meets World’

01.31.17 2 months ago 6 Comments

How Frank Barsalona Created The Modern Rock Concert And Got Himself Into The Hall Of Fame

01.30.17 2 months ago

The Story Behind Gus Fring’s Stunningly Explosive Moment On ‘Breaking Bad’

and 01.30.17 2 months ago 5 Comments

How Toronto’s Boosie Fade Transformed From A Rap DJ Night Into A Digital Movement

01.12.17 2 months ago

Infiltrating The Bills Mafia To Find Out Why Fans Keep Supporting The NFL’s Most Hopeless Team

01.01.17 3 months ago 8 Comments

From Ray Charles To Jimi Hendrix: How Seattle Helped Create R&B And Rock And Roll

01.01.17 3 months ago 6 Comments

‘Stop Crying And Fight Your Father’: ‘Seinfeld’ Writers Tell How Festivus Came To Be

and 12.23.16 3 months ago 12 Comments

The Lasting Impact Of Adidas Tearaway Pants On Hip-Hop And A Hoops Generation

12.08.16 4 months ago 2 Comments

Understanding The History And The Motivations Behind The Standing Rock Protests

12.02.16 4 months ago 6 Comments

How Do We Combat The Intensifying War On Science?

and 11.30.16 4 months ago 30 Comments