Yes, the first episode of the “The Pacific” aired last night. It would be unreasonable to expect everyone to watch HBO every Sunday night, so I’m not going to bother with a recap and all of the untidy complications of plot and character development. Instead, I’m sharing Just the Badass Parts, including the all-new Warming Glow-trademarked JAP COUNT. That’s the number of times characters referred to the Japanese as “Japs.” Hooray, casual racism!

  • OFFICIAL JAP COUNT: 18, plus an additional six in the scenes promoting the coming weeks.
  • Chesty Puller, one of the world’s greatest all-time badasses, is a character in this show. APPROVE.
  • Mutilated corpses.
  • Featured: hiking through jungle with machine gun tripods. I can personally confirm that the tripods and spare barrels Marines carry for 7.62mm machine guns today are sheer misery to carry. The ones from WWII are twice the size.
  • A wounded Japanese soldier receives aid from two Americans, then blows them up and commits suicide with a grenade.
  • Beach littered with Japanese bodies after an all-night firefight.
  • Marines play “Duck Hunt” with random Japanese soldier.
  • A Marine stuffs cigarettes into his nostrils to keep smell of the dead at bay.`
  • A Marine smokes while his festering wound gets dressed.

All of that made up for the painfully slow first half hour. Coming next week: more Guadalcanal! That means more malaria, more gore, more starvation, and heroism on Bloody Ridge that’ll make you piss your pants. Semper Fi!

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