Hey, here are some sentences that will ruin your day:
Word is that the trio are returning at their current salaries, with all three getting signing bonuses. [Ashton] Kutcher is believed to be earning about $700,000 per episode, [Jon] Cryer a bit less and [Angus T.] Jones $300,000 an episode. Jones’ bonus at the last contract re-upping was $500,000. [Deadline]
Just to be clear, I don’t begrudge any of these dudes or half-dudes their salaries. Lots of people watch the show, so advertisers pay more to air their commercials during the breaks. Fine. And, to be honest, I’d rather have the money go into the pockets of the actors and producers than into some giant glass-walled vault in Viacom’s headquarters that high-ranking executives can gaze into while jacking it in velvet-lined private booths*. But I will say that — assuming the upcoming 10th season will have 24 episodes — the fact that the public faces of this trash heap will earn between $7 million and $17 million next year, plus bonuses, is somewhat disquieting. I hope some kid steals all their Lamborghinis.
*This is how business works, yes?