This Man Should Not Be Allowed Near Animals

Senior Pop Culture Editor
10.05.12 27 Comments

According to his biography on the Hallmark Channel’s surprisingly not hosted by Angelfire website, Marc Moronne is a “modern-day Dr. Doolittle [who] really knows how to talk to the animals — and about them, too. He is Martha Stewart’s go-to guy in the world of four-legged and winged beasts, from dogs to cats, rabbits to ferrets, parrots to canaries.” He can also put them into hilariously precarious positions that often nearly end in death.

A partial list of things that happen in the must-watch video below.

-A cat jumps into a fish tank to kill a goldfish.
-A monkey tries to bite a parrot’s head off.
-Multiple ferrets and kittens fall off a table.
-A dog named Barney tries to eat a kitten.
-A bird picks up another bird by the legs and won’t let go.
-A turtle snaps down on a puppy’s tongue.

And so on. I would rather allow Beverley Allitt to be my future baby’s pediatrician or ask Kevin James to watch my priceless vase on a rickety table positioned in a doorway (what could go wrong!) than let Marc Moronne near my guinea pigs. Yeah, I have guinea pigs. So what? I bet they could take down that monkey in the video.

(Via Reddit)

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