Friday, November 27, 1992. Arkansas governor Bill Clinton has just defeated George H.W. Bush in the presidential election after energizing the youth of the nation by playing the saxophone on The Arsenio Hall Show. “How Do You Talk to An Angel” by The Heights is the number one song in the country, having recently supplanted “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men at the top of the Billboard charts. Millions of Americans are flocking to movie theaters to see what kind of wacky hijinks young Kevin McCallister will be up to in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. And, perhaps most importantly, a four-part, made-for-TV movie titled Hawaiian Style starring the gang from Saved by the Bell debuted on NBC.
I have written many, many words about Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style on the Internet (including a week-long, episode-by-episode breakdown with my good Tumblr buddy LOLSlater), most of them revolving around what a totally bonkers mess it is. Kelly is dating a 30-plus-year-old lawyer and Zack more or less adopts a five-year-old even though they both just finished their junior year of high school; a tribe of native Hawaiians (many of whom are portrayed by white dudes with mustaches) starts worshiping Screech after they decide he is a descendant of their greatest leader; the gang spends half the movie in disguises as though they each independently thought “Well, I guess I should pack a couple wigs and service staff uniforms just in case” the night before their trip started; and Kelly’s grandfather’s ukelele makes electric guitar sounds at a luau despite the fact that it is clearly not plugged into anything. None of it makes any sense. None of it. And I love it dearly.
Anyway, as the Internet’s foremost expert on this little television miracle, I figured I should bring this fact to your attention. Congratulations, you are old.