For the first time in a long time it seemed like an episode of True Blood was about as focused and succinct as it could be, with all of the show’s eleventy billion characters inserted into two specific plot lines. While the vampires were all trying to take down Sarah Newlin and the camp, thanks to Eric Northman’s Warlow-blood-fueled rampage and Bill fulfilling his strange and possibly misguided prophecy, everyone else in town was paying respects to Terry Bellefleur.
Of course, with such a succinct episode, we also have less to talk about, what with Terry’s funeral being pretty straightforward and the vampire/human war escalating to its most heated point, but nevertheless we dive face first into the sixth season’s 9th episode, “Life Matters,” with just one episode remaining.
True or False: Terry’s funeral was pretty sweet, you know, for a subplot to a massive war brewing between humans and vampires.
I know that the writers were trying to tug on our heart strings here, but the problem with Terry was that he was so flawed and ultimately doomed, that we knew for a long time that he’d meet his end and finally find peace. So to keep jumping back into recaps dealing with everyone’s feelings for him and how they all helped bring him from psychotic recluse to that dude on the fryer was very distracting. It was sweet, but it was very distracting.
True or False: Sookie isn’t very comfortable talking around people, but she’ll sleep with just about anyone.
Originally, I wanted to call this funeral the Who’s Who of Who Sookie Hasn’t Slept With, because it seemed like apart from Alcide, Terry’s service was ripe for her to finish off every man in the town. But that would be fictional slut shaming and I can’t endorse that.
True or False: Alcide has really bad timing.Subscribe to UPROXX
Here I thought Alcide’s season couldn’t get any worse, but then he shows up to Terry’s funeral and spends the whole time hitting on Sookie. Meanwhile, Sookie has to know that something’s wrong with Jason by this point, but she’s just like, “I ain’t heard from him in a few days, y’all.” He’s clearly vampire food, Sookie, you leg spreadin’ schmuck.
True or False: Warlow’s not okay.
Gut feeling on that one.
True or False: Terry’s grandmother is the worst.
I don’t like to encourage violence against the elderly, but Terry’s grandma at least deserves a broken ankle for her racist BS. Put a filter on that sh*t, lady.
True or False: The only flashback worth a lick was Lafayette teaching Terry the deep fryer dance.
I don’t mean to take away from the funeral service, but the Lafayette bit was the only part that didn’t have me running my thumb over the fast forward button.