I’m amazed by nearly every episode of The Walking Dead, not because of the terrible decision-making, but by the amount of over-the-top violence the show gets away with. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Michonne lob off some zombie heads, but it’s mind-boggling that basic cable channels still won’t show a woman’s nipple or drop an f-bomb. There may come a day when Abraham can opt for “motherf*ckr” instead of “mother dick” — though mother dick was a hilariously welcomed change-up — but for now, The Walking Dead can be as violent as it wants, but they better not even think about showing a breast. That kind debauchery is only for the hedonists at HBO.
In case you need a reminder of just how much gloriously brutal violence the show is allowed to get away with, here’s a brief recap. If a regular episode makes you squeamish, you may want to turn back now.
1. A guy having his face eaten by a burning walker. A-okay.
2. The Governor smashing a walker’s face into the skulls of other walkers. No breasts in sight, so it’s cool.
3. Yup, totally cool.
4. As long as he doesn’t drop an f-bomb while having his guts ripped out, everything’s fine.
5. They can’t talk, so the FCC censors really had nothing to worry about here.
6. Rick had his mouth full, so no chance of offensive language.
7. You can see this on basic cable, but you can’t hear the word “asshole.”
8. Really, the only thing offensive here is that Rick or Darryl didn’t make a joke about the guy having a splitting headache afterward.
9. This might have been a zombie head, or maybe just a few tomatoes got in the way. Moving on…
10. Poor, poor, Noah.
11. Decapitate a sweet old man? Sure, chop away.
12. NOPE!