It’s so hot today, the kind of sticky, swampy, salty hot where you all want to do is get fired from your job, walk around town drinking 40s, take out your dick, and pee on EVERYTHING. Dogs, cars, people, buildings, Nicolas Cage’s Hollywood star, it doesn’t matter; like the ancient Chinese proverb says, as long as it’s there, it’s gonna get peed on.
Not everyone’s as bold as Nick Offerman, though, who goes through with the aforementioned F*CK IT scenario in the NSFW music video for L.A. punk band FIDLAR’S “Cocaine.” (Dude sure likes whipping his junk out.) I know it’s fictional, but I like to imagine this is what Offerman does every year when he’s not nominated for an Emmy. Especially the Nicolas Cage part. “Not the bees? WELL HOW ABOUT THE PEE?!”