Game of Thrones (HBO, Sunday) — Series premiere. Given the hype and the rave reviews that are already rolling in, you can expect to see Sir Pantsalot photoshopped into a lot of images in the coming weeks. I could nit-pick a lot of things about George R.R. Martin’s first novel in the series, but I’ll give him this: dude has BALLS when it comes to killing off characters. Don’t get too attached to anyone.
Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe (USA, Sunday) — Bruce Campbell gets a two-hour spin-off prequel movie. Spin-off prequel movie. I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around that term.
Audrina (VH1, Sunday) — Series premiere. Do I want to have intercourse with Audrina? Yes, absolutely. Do I care about any other detail of her boring life? Absolutely not. Other reality shows premiering on VH1 Sunday: Mob Wives and Saddle Ranch.
The Ricky Gervais Show (HBO, Friday) — Season finale. It’s not my thing — I don’t understand why Ricky Gervais needs to look like Fred Flintstone — but it’s better than whatever’s on Syfy.
Friday Night Lights (NBC, Friday) — Season premiere. I’m tempted to jump in and watch Season 5, but I’ve only watched Season 1 and parts of Season 2. What do you people think I should do? I mean, besides post more pictures of dogs.