House of Cards (Netflix, Anytime) — Right now, right now, right now, right now. Stop reading and go get your Frank Underwood fix. Seriously. Like, right now. (Review here.)
The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday 9 p.m.) — War: What is it good for? Uniting the people in Alexandria against a common enemy, probably.
Vinyl (HBO, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Richie goes full Ari Gold in a counseling session with Devon, and the Nasty Bits are on the prowl for new representation.
Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday 9 p.m.) — That’s it and that’s all, folks. The Downton series finale should have some big news for most of your favorite characters as Anna’s about to pop, someone’s about to pop the question to Edith, and Denker lets the cat riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight outta the bag.
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (HBO, Sunday 11 p.m.) — John Oliver will try to pull another rabbit out of his hat, but it’s going to be really, really tough to out-do last week’s “Make Donald Drumpf Again” segment. He’ll give it the ol’ college try, though.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, Friday 8 p.m.) — Stefan and Valerie are frantically searching for a magical herb that will hide him from Rayna, because apparently their neighborhood doesn’t have one of those hippy holistic pharmacies that sells tea tree oil and incense or whatever.
Sleepy Hollow (FOX, Friday 8 p.m.) — Break out your Martin Brodeur sweaters because the New Jersey Devil is terrorizing Sleepy Hollow. (Note: Does not actually feature a Martin Brodeur cameo.)
The Originals (The CW, Friday 9 p.m.) — Someone’s snatchin’ up members of the Strix, and Vincent teams up with a vengeful vampire to stick it to Klaus.
Grimm (NBC, Friday 9 p.m.) — Nick and Monroe pop ‘cross the pond to say “cheerio” to an old chap or some such, while Portland spirals into turmoil thanks to the Black Claw. Jerk.
Once Upon a Time (ABC, Sunday 8 p.m.) — The heroes are in over their heads while trying to rescue Hook, and Regina celebrates a birthday in the Enchanted Forest. Unless she’s turning 16 or 40, that should consist of picking where she goes out to dinner. Them’s the rules.
Madam Secretary (CBS, Sunday 8 p.m.) — Elizabeth walks the fine line between questioning and torture while prodding a suspect who might know where the world’s most-wanted terrorist is hiding. Stevie’s parents do the same when she brings her new boyfriend home to meet them.
The Simpsons (FOX, Sunday 8 p.m.) — Marge plays Dexter and Lisa wants to open her own animal hospital.
The Family (ABC, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Danny talks to the press and Nina plays follow the leader with some detectives in the second episode of ABC’s new The Changeling-meets-the-second-act-of-Room drama.
The Good Wife (CBS, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Alicia, Eli and Peter’s lawyer play pin the criminal charge on Peter as a grand jury is assembled.
Family Guy (FOX, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Peter builds a man cave and Stewie suffers from night terrors.
Shameless (Showtime, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Fiona does her best Julia Roberts impression to get on Sean’s son’s good side.
The Last Man on Earth (FOX, Sunday 9:30 p.m.) — Mike does his best impression of Sandra Bullock at the end of Gravity.
Quantico (ABC, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Alex swears to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the terrorist bombings. Also, there’s a new class of recruits.
CSI: Cyber (CBS, Sunday 10 p.m.) — You know that wonderful feeling you got the first time you purged your Facebook friends? Well, someone’s chasing that high by actually killing folks with iffy social-media posts and the gang has to stop them, kinda like when the cops chase Batman at the end of The Dark Knight. (Kidding, but really …)
Girls (HBO, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Shoshanna’s yuge (yuge!) in Japan and Hannah goes through Fran’s phone because that sounds like a great idea.
Billions (Showtime, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Chuck proves there’s no need for a crystal ball when you’ve got a rearview mirror while Axe starts to buckle beneath the mounting pressure.
Togetherness (HBO, Sunday 10:30 p.m.) — Tina tries to channel her inner babysitter while Alex and Brett are out runnin’ down a dream.
Late Night Guests
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon — Gwyneth Paltrow, Tyler Oakley and The Who
