The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday 9:00 p.m.) – Season 4 mid-season premiere. AMC is leading up to Sunday’s premiere with a two-day marathon beginning Saturday at 1:00 p.m. with the first episode of Season 3. Watch that, then the trailer, then read our 10 open questions for the new season (again). Weekends are football-free for over six months, but you can fill this one with zombie killing.
True Detective (HBO, Sunday 9:00 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “A series of dangerous leads are followed by Hart and Cohle to find prime suspect Reggie Ledoux.” DANGEROUS LEADS ARE THE BEST KIND OF LEADS.
Game of Thrones: Ice and Fire: A Foreshadowing (HBO, Sunday 8:45 p.m.) – HBO is running a 15-minute preview of the new season before True Detective. This brings up an important point: What if Matthew McConaughey had a dragon?
The Olympics Opening Ceremony (NBC, Friday, 8:00 p.m.) – After everything that has gone wrong this week, my expectations for chaos at the Opening Ceremony were impossibly high. We almost got there, too, what with the Russian Police performing “Get Lucky” and ring malfunctions and giant Pedobears all being featured. Almost. Still was missing something. Something, like, say, Putin riding in shirtless on an elephant while a remixed version of the “Prince Ali” song from Aladdin played and fireworks sprayed off into the night at random. I would have enjoyed that.
Enlisted (Fox, Friday 9:00 p.m.) – For a show that NBC seemed dead-set on killing by burying it alive on Friday nights, this has been pretty good. I don’t understand television.
Banshee (Cinemax, Friday 10:00 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “On a drive back to Banshee with Carrie, Lucas gives thought to moving on. Meanwhile, Agent Racine bitterly reminisces about how the case against Rabbit was botched years before.” I thought for a second that said “Agent Racine Bitterly” and I got more excited than any of you can imagine.
Black Sails (Starz, Saturday 9:00 p.m.) – I wanted this show to be good. I really did. It had everything: Michael Bay, pirates, sexy pirates, everything. I’ll give it a few more weeks.
Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (Food Network, Friday 10:00 p.m.) – Season 19 premiere. Guy Fieri returns to his hometown in Northern California. I bring this up because now I desperately want to hear from people who went to high school with Guy Fieri. Let’s get them drunk first. It’ll be fun.
The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute to the Beatles (CBS, Sunday 8:00 p.m.) – Who are the Beatles?