In an exclusive exchange with E! News, Charlie Sheen is clearing up all the rumors about Two and a Half Men being on the verge of cancellation, his father Martin seeking a conservatorship, and the film Navy Seals.
“All crap.”
In the least dignified communication in the history of human communication (seriously, is there something worse than a 45-year old man in a fright wig sending texts to the E! Network to deny rumors that he’s going to have to move back in with his parents?), Sheen continued, using a world news misdirect to avoid accepting that he is a pill popping sex maniac who has started in not one, but two of the Scary Movies. He will never speak about any of this as long as he is alive!
“Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I’m alive. You’re all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong … BTW, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bullsh**….?”
There you have it. Straight from the Sheen himself. Or, you know, anyone who had access to his phone.
