Man Vs. Wild (Discovery) — Season premiere. I’ve never been a die-hard fan of this show, but I’d happily watch highlight reels of it all day. In the new season, Bear gets surprised by a crocodile, navigates a shark-infested channel, and — most notably — suffers a leg injury in the Rockies from a falling camera. Get well soon, buddy.
Hard Knocks (HBO) — Season premiere. The spotlight this season falls on the New York Jets, and the only way it can’t be awesome is if it doesn’t reinforce KSK’s notion of Rex Ryan.
LA Ink (TLC) — Season premiere. This is probably the only show on TLC that doesn’t make me want to punch someone. Probably because I want to make it with Kat Von D. But that’s what happens when you grow up in the carnival working the booth next to the Painted Lady.
Minute to Win It (NBC) — Season finale. How can this have a season finale? It’s a f*cking game show. You can make this bullsh*t 270 days a year. It’s “The Price Is Right” with fancy lights.
I gotta duck out a little early today, folks. I slept half an hour last night, started my day with seeing a dead guy carried off an airplane, and started drinking bourbon two hours ago because it staved off the hallucinations. A fun day for sure, but I need a little sleep now.