Total Ariana Live (MTV, 7:00 p.m.) – Very tiny pop star Ariana Grande is bringing back Total Request Live tonight. Kind of. It’s one hour of her performing songs from her new album. So if that’s your request, congrats. She’ll also be making “a major announcement.” My guess: She has decoded the Voynich Manuscript.
Big Brother (CBS, 8:00 p.m.) – The housemates compete for veto power tonight, probably by climbing something or swinging on something or whacking each other with huge foam bats. This is how politics should work.
Mystery Girls (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.) – Tonight on the new series starring Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth, “Holly wants to pursue more exciting cases, so she convinces Charlie to investigate a robbery ring. However, Charlie has doubts about relying on Holly’s tactics, which involve looking for the culprits at a popular nightclub.” Seems reasonable to me.
Suits (USA, 9:00 p.m. Not on this week) – WHY ISN’T SUITS ON THIS WEEK JESUS CHRIST USA
Wilfred (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) – Ryan and Wilfred take sides in Kristen’s custody battle. Maybe they can hire Harvey from Suits since HE’S APPARENTLY OFF TONIGHT GODDDDDDDDD.
Hot in Cleveland (TV Land, 10:30 p.m.) – Chevy Chase AND Rob Schneider guest star? What could we, as a society, possibly have done to deserve this abundance of riches?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kimmel has Susan Sarandon, Ramon Rodriguez, and Robin Thicke. Everyone else is in reruns.
