Franklin & Bash (TNT) – Bros. BROS. “Franklin & Bash” aka “Little Bro & Smooth Bro” aka “Dude, Beer Pong? Sure” is BACK. We’re havin’ a huge party at the place and everyone’s gonna be there: Steez, J-Bone, Mikey T, Mikey R, Retarded Dave, the sluts from DZ, Big Dick Tom, Little Dick Tom, the WHOLE GANG, BROSEPH STALIN. It’s gonna be EPIC. Swing by around 9. Hey, guess what? [punches you in the groin] LOLOLOLOLOLOL. PUNCHED YOU IN THE DICK, BRO. (Season 1 Rewind after the jump. Will I do one of my jackass recaps tomorrow? Tune in to find out!)
Workaholics (Comedy Central) – Did you guys realize Gayle from last week’s episode was Alex from “Saved by the Bell: The College Years”? I did, because of course I did.
Love in the Wild (NBC) – Season premiere. People look for love in the woods or something. Whatever.
Storage Wars (A&E) – This is probably the best show about storage containers on television. Top ten at least.
Pretty Little Liars (A&E) – From TV Guide: “In the third-season opener, the girls reunite after a summer apart and struggle to move past Mona’s revelation and Maya’s death. Before long, another surprising event rattles the town.” I hope the surprising event is that someone learned to drive a monster truck over the summer. That would be great.
Chopped (Food Network) – In tonight’s episode, the contestants must combine gummy candy and corned beef in an appetizer. One time in college I scavenged the fridge and made a hot dog quesadilla with BBQ sauce and spicy mustard. Come at me, “Chopped.”
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Andy Samberg and Spelling Bee champ Snigdha Nandipati on Kimmel; Neil Patrick Harris on Letterman; Michael Sheen and Michael Ian Black are on a repeat of Ferguson; Emma Stone and Chris Hemsworth on Leno; Michael Fassbender, Napster bros Sean Parker and Sean Fanning, and Callie Thorne on Fallon; and Charlize Theron and Curtis Stone on Conan.