Two and a Half Men (CBS) — Gary Busey guest stars as a mental patient (natch). Of course, whatever the “Men” writers came up with for Busey’s lines will be less funny than what Busey would have said if he was just allowed to be himself, but c’mon: it’s still Busey. Every time I see this picture of him selling pizza I think of the “Simpsons” episode “And Maggie Makes Three,” where Homer advertises the bowling alley by going outside and firing a shotgun while yelling, “Bowling! Bowling here! Get your bowling!”
Bored to Death (HBO) — “Happy Endings” star Casey Wilson guest stars as Jonathan’s college girlfriend.
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) — The only time I ever watch CBS is when I catch their Sunday NFL broadcasts. And having seen promos for “Hawaii Five-0” during those telecasts, I have to say: the show looks amazing. I’d like more TV series to be shot on location in Hawaii with sexy Koreans in the cast.
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Nancy Grace finally got eliminated last week (only seven weeks too late!), so now she can go back to her hate-mongering on Headline News. Four contestants remain.
20/20 (ABC) — Representative Gabrielle Giffords — survivor of the horrible Arizona shootings — and her husband, space shuttle commander Mark Kelly, are interviewed by Diane Sawyer.
Monday Night Football: Vikings at Packers (ESPN) — I have not one but TWO fantasy football contests hanging in the balance of this game. I need nine points from Aaron Rodgers and a combined 12 points from Adrian Peterson and Jermichael Finley to seal a pair of come-from-behind victories. Cheer for stats with me at the KSK live-blog.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: New Twitter user Jason Segel on Letterman; Amy Adams on Leno; Sarah Michelle Gellar on Kimmel; Jane Lynch on Fallon; Kirsten Dunst on Chelsea; LL Cool J on Conan. Also, “Unforgettable” star Poppy Montgomery is on Ferguson, and if you haven’t seen her “Me in My Place” pictures, you should probably check those out now.