Biography: Ted Williams (BIO) — No no no: not Ted Williams, the greatest hitter in major league history, Marine Corps pilot, champion fisherman, and legendary irascible grump. Ted Williams the homeless guy. Welcome to summer television.
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox) — Seas0n premiere. Let’s see, “American Idol” ended last night, so… yup, it’s time for the next reality competition to start.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Showtime) — Series finale. It really says something about the (lack of) quality of a series when you tell a story about a high-priced British prostitute and I don’t care. “Secret Diary of a Cheap Cockney Whore” would be way better. “POLISH YA KNOB, GUVNA?!?”
Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo) — The ladies visit Morocco the only way it should be experienced: with people they hate and constantly argue with.
Snapped (Oxygen) — From Yahoo: “Tonight’s installment examines the case of military wife Monique Berkley, whose affair with a teenage boy ended in the murder of her Navy reservist husband.” I do enjoy a good love story.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ray Romano on Letterman (performance by Arctic Monkeys); Piers Morgan and “Modern Family’s” Rico Rodriguez on Leno; Christina Aguilera and Mike Tyson on Kimmel; Seth Green on Ferguson; James McAvoy and Gilbert Gottfried on Fallon; Eva Mendes on Chelsea; and Dana Carvey on Conan.