House, M.D. (Fox) — Two-hour season premiere. House is in an asylum now. I kinda liked the show better when it was more of a procedural. There’s something reassuring about House chewing scenery while Bizarre Mystery Disease of the Week gets cured.
Heroes (NBC) — Two-hour season premiere. They’ve added Robert Knepper (Teabag from “Prison Break”) as a bad guy and some lesbian tendencies in Hayden Panettierre. But did the writers also make “Hey that actually makes sense” a priority? Follow along with the live-blog at Topless Robot.
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Two-hour season premiere. Tune in for the unstoppable sex appeal of Tom DeLay in sweatpants.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS) — Season premiere. This season Robin and Barney hook up in a desperate attempt to make the show seem like it’s not about pathetic assweasel Ted. Also premiering on CBS: the obviously atrocious Jenna Elfman vehicle “Accidentally on Purpose,” “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and “CSI: Miami.” I watch the latter for the YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
The Late Show (CBS) — Some guy named Barack Obama is the only guest.
Brick City (Sundance) — This looks kind of interesting. From Yahoo: “After decades under the rule of a corrupt mayor and local government, poverty-stricken Newark, New Jersey, got a fresh start with the election of young mayor Cory Booker in 2006. This new documentary series takes an in-depth look at the problems facing Newark and the possible solutions that will hopefully make a change for the better over the course of a one-year period.” Spoiler alert: Newark still sucks (but less so).
Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Colts at Dolphins. The gridiron-inclined are welcome to join me at Kissing Suzy Kolber for the live-blog.