New Girl (Fox) — The hit comedy returns after its World Series/”X Factor”-induced hiatus. I’ve enjoyed it so far, but I’m afraid I might develop some Zooey fatigue soon. Also, the guy who plays the douchebag friend is almost intolerable.
NCIS (CBS) — Melinda McGraw, recipient of the most famous televised fingerbang in history, guest stars as the ex-wife of both Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and Fornell (Joe Spano).
Last Man Standing/Man Up! (ABC) — These still exist. The only TV show with an exclamation point worth watching is “Jeopardy!”
Sons of Anarchy (FX) — So yeah, Clay’s finally become the villain. I gotta say, Piney wasn’t very smart about delivering that ultimatum last week.
Glee (Fox) — “Glee Project” winner Damian McGinty joins the show as an Irish exchange student. Singing ensues.
Covert Affairs (USA) — Fall premiere. Welcome back, Piper Perabo. (Never gets old.)
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ben Stiller and Whitney Cummings on Letterman; Eddie Murphy on Leno; Adam Sandler and the Bangles (?) on Kimmel; Dennie Miller on Ferguson; Tracy Morgan and Mario Batali on Fallon; Condoleeza Rice on “The Daily Show”; Yo-Yo Ma on Colbert; Hugh Jackman on Conan.