Parks and Recreation (NBC, 9:30 p.m.) — Season finale. Burt Macklin’s on the case (with Retta, godwilling) of who the pregnant Pawnee-ian is. The only mystery he can’t solve: all of Danger’s Porks and Recreation questions. And why I can never find creamy peanut butter when I need it the most.
Community (NBC, 8 p.m.) — Hot Topic Punk Britta? Hot Topic Punk Britta.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Bob Newhart guest stars as a TV show host in tonight’s episode. The way Newhart speaks is a lot like trying explain why The Big Bang Theory is so popular. “Well, you see…the thing about that is…it’s sort of like…you have to, uh, remember…things are different…Got it?”
The Office (NBC, 8:30 p.m.) — It’s a special hour-long episode, and while that might sound like a challenge, not a treat, please note that Andy apparently departs Dunder-Mifflin. Two seasons too late, but we’ll take it, especially if guest star Michael Imperioli, of Sopranos fame, is involved. *winks* *snorts cocaine* *sits on dog*
Hannibal (NBC, 10 p.m.) — You’re better than “Chesapeake Ripper,” Hannibal. Go with something cool, something original, like the Organ Skewer or Ralph. Not nearly enough serial killers go by Ralph.
The Show With Vinny (MTV, 10 p.m.) — Series premiere. “Lil’ Wayne visits Vinny’s family…” NOPE.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Paris Hilton on Letterman; Matt Lauer and Jen Kirkman on Leno; Robert Downey Jr. on Kimmel; Pierce Brosnan on Ferguson; Zach Galifianakis, Isla Fisher, Icona Pop on Fallon; Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Bob Saget on Conan; Eric Greitens on Stewart; and Ben Kingsley on Colbert.