Raising Hope (Fox, 8 p.m.) — Honest to God, no one line in any episode of TV last week made me laugh harder than Sabrina’s revelation that she poops sitting backwards on a toilet seat. Will Wilmer Doucheramma return tonight? I don’t know, but I do know that Jimmy goes to a gay bar, and spends a troubling amount of time there.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — In tonight’s Halloween episode, Jess tries out the slutty zombie costume, while David Walton (who plays Sam) returns to remind us once again what a travesty it was that NBC cancelled Bent.
Happy Endings (ABC, 9 p.m.) — After last year’s Ah-Mah-Zing Halloween episode of Happy Endings, I’m a little crushed to learn that tonight’s episode will not be Halloween themed. On the bright side, Brad and Max get their own plotline. They really are the best couple-you-could-never ship on television.
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.) — The description of tonight’s episode from TV Guide: “Alliances are pushed to the breaking point.” THANKS A LOT FOR NOTHING. I think this is the episode that Juice may or may not bite it, which is probably true of every character on this show at this point.
The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.) — I don’t actually care about The Voice, but it’s worth noting that tonight’s episode is two hours long, which pushes Go On and New Normal back to 10 EST, which means no Parenthood tonight, which means that there’s no reason to watch NBC tonight. Damnit.
If you like Halloween episodes, Ben and Kate, Go On, The New Normal, Don’t Trust the B— in Apt. 23 and The Mindy Project all have Halloween-themed eps tonight. Every time two accidentally people wear the same costume, DRINK!
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: I’m not sure which of the NYC talk shows will have studio audiences, but — with or without them — Kate Hudson is on Letterman, Howard Stern is on Kimmel (taping from Brooklyn), and Russell Brand is on Fallon. Meanwhile, while Letterman is set to go on Kimmel tomorrow night, Jay Leno will be on Ferguson tonight, which should be interesting. Finally, John C. Reilly will be on Leno while John Goodman will be on The Daily Show.