Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.) — TWO HOUR SEASON FINALE. Here are a few words and phrases cast and crew on the show have used on Twitter to describe tonight’s finale: “Epic.” “Sad.” “F***ed up.” “Beyond unbelievable.” “It will make you hug your children.” That last one was from Kurt Sutter himself … and OH MY GOD. I didn’t even consider the possibility that Thomas and Abel would die in ranking the most likely deaths in the finale. New theory based on the ambiguous tweet: Abel messes with Tig’s hair, is murdered instantly.
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 8 p.m.) — SECRETS ARE REVEALED, like, “Why am I still watching this show?”
The Goldbergs (ABC, 9 p.m.) — Awww, maybe Saturday Night Live no longer wants Tim Meadows, but he’s welcome on The Goldbergs, where it’s still 1980-something.
Trophy Wife (ABC, 9:30 p.m.) — “A wild Christmas Eve party leads to confusion and panic on Christmas morning.” Dogs and cats living together … mass hysteria, followed by a sweet, heartwarming ending and Malin Akerman wearing a Santa hat and short shorts.
American Country Awards (Fox, 8 p.m.) — I still can’t get over the fact that Hootie is a country music star, y’all.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Billy Crystal is on Letterman for some reason; Kirstie Alley is on Leno; Tom Hanks is on Kimmel (that should be good); Paul Giamatti is on Ferguson; Fallon has John Goodman; Amy Adams will be on The Daily Show, and Jason Schwartzman is on Conan.