South Park (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) – Fall finale. Tonight’s episode is titled “The Hobbit” and will feature Wendy trying “to prove a point about how much pressure little girls feel to look like celebrities.” As you can see in the banner picture, it does not go well for her.
Key & Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) – The other morning my brain broke and I started tweeting out Key & Peele sketches like the safety of this great union depended on it. It dawned on me later that I could have just tweeted the whole YouTube playlist. You should watch Key & Peele.
Arrow (CW, 8:00 p.m.) – Fall finale. From TV Guide: “Oliver is drugged after a fight with Cyrus Gold and left for dead. Felicity tries to cure him but the cure causes Oliver to hallucinate and he is visited by ghosts from his past.” I have chosen to refer to tonight’s episode as “A Christmas Arrowl.”
The Middle/Modern Family (ABC, 8:30-9:30 p.m.) – Fall finales, both. Tonight’s Modern Family was directed by some guy named Bryan Cranston. Name rings a bell.
Mob City (TNT, 9:00 p.m.) – What did y’all think of this? I thought it was pretty okay if you like 1940s noir about cops battling well-dressed gangsters, which I do, very much, for the record. It’s not groundbreaking television or anything, but not everything has to be, you know? It was … fine. And that’s not always so bad.
Kelly Clarkson’s Cautionary Christmas Music Tale (NBC, 10:00 p.m.) – I refuse to look up the description for this because I want to keep assuming it’s about a homeless Justin Guarini.
American Horror Story: Coven (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – From TV Guide: ” Fiona eyes an alliance with Marie Laveau. Later, Cordelia’s attacker is revealed; and Nan learns a disturbing truth about Luke’s past.” My guess: Luke used to be a Mets fan. [shudders]
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ryan Seacrest and Bradley Whitford on Kimmel; Emma Thompson and Andy Cohen on Letterman; Jim Gaffigan on Ferguson; Tyler Perry and Ken Jeong on Leno; Joaquin Phoenix and Candice Bergen on Fallon; and Benedict Cumberbatch and George Takei on Conan.