The Daily Show (Comedy Central, 11:00 p.m.) – Jon Stewart returns to the host’s desk tonight after an extended hiatus to direct a movie. John Oliver did a fine job filling in, but to quote a line from a TV show that is rarely discussed on the Internet and no one has any strong feelings about, “The king stay the king.” Opening segment = Must-watch.
Luther (BBC America, 10:00 p.m.) – Season premiere. From TV Guide: “A fetishist murders women in a horrific style that recalls unsolved cases from the 1980s.” I hope this means the murderer kills people while listening to “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco. Also, Luther is good and you should watch it. (Trailer below.)
Suits (USA, 10:00 p.m.) – On last week’s episode, dozens of people who work at a cutthroat Manhattan law firm took a few hours off in the middle of the day — while one of their largest clients was trying to fight off murder changes brought by a tenacious prosecutor — to participate in a mock trial to determine which partner deserved custody of a cat. I just want to be sure we all understand that.
Hard Knocks (HBO, 10:00 p.m.) – Season finale. The end of Hard Knocks means real football starts soon. This is an acceptable tradeoff.
Chopped (Food Network, 10:00 p.m.) – Tonight’s episode features Danica Patrick, Tiki Barber, Chuck Zito, and Natalie Coughlin competing for charity. DAMMIT. I don’t want to see regular people on Chopped. CHEFS can barely cook edible dishes on Chopped. Someone is going to die of food poisoning tonight.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bill Maher and Victoria Duval on Leno; Michael Strahan and Demi Lovato on Fallon; Vin Diesel, Zachary Maxwell, and John Legend on Kimmel; Jake Gyllenhaal and Julie Chen on Letterman; Jay Leno and Cameron Esposito are on Ferguson; and Jason Biggs, Alison Pill. and Rory Scovel are on Conan.