For the last several months, tubby bro-dawg Randy Jackson has been the sole “American Idol” judge, as producers have scrambled to find haggard old singers like Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez to fill the black V-neck of the departed Simon Cowell. Meanwhile, Cowell has a good idea for the two judges who will counterbalance his bile on the new “X Factor”: smokin’ hotties.
Sources tell us sultry [Nicole] Scherzinger is a favorite with Cowell after she made a guest appearance as a judge on the hit British version of the show this year. Also set for Cowell’s glamorous panel is beautiful British singer Cheryl Cole, who, sources tell us, “has been discussing this with Cowell for months and is ready to move to LA.” [Page Six]
It really doesn’t matter that Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls) and Cole (Girls Aloud) never had anything going for their music careers besides insanely hot bodies. What matters is that they’re nice to look at and can speak in complete sentences. If that seems like simple criteria that appeals to common sense, congratulations! You are not a producer for “American Idol.” Enjoy having children without birth defects.