The ‘Young Pope’ Popedown, Episode 7: The Pope Smells His Mom

Editor-at-Large
02.06.17 4 Comments

HBO

The Young Pope Popedown is a list of the five craziest and/or most notable things that happened in each episode of HBO’s The Young Pope, ranked from least to most crazy and/or notable. Like a countdown, but with popes.

5. This week in Vatican politics

Lotta stuff going on behind the scenes in this episode. Lotta scheming. Some fake parents, too. But we’ll get to that.

The biggest development, politically, is that Lenny’s plans to make the church mysterious and restrictive has worked too well, and now the membership is dwindling and the cardinals are pissed about it. Lenny isn’t too happy either, and he’s moping around the gardens and discussing what a failure he is. It’s all kind of a bummer, to be honest, and something that developed really quickly, seeing as he was just smacking down the Prime Minister in a power play last week. The gist of it all is that the cardinals are trying to figure out how to oust him and install Spencer, who gets a handful of really great “devious puppet master” shots this week. Also, Voiello owns a soccer jersey with his own name on the back. This has nothing to do with anything, but I wanted to make sure we all saw it. Classic Voiello.

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The other big political development this week was Tommoso getting fed up and a) telling Sister Mary that the Pope doesn’t believe in God, and b) telling Lenny to go screw when it comes to delivering secret intel from the confessional. Look at you, Tommoso! I love it. I hope he goes full supervillain now and tries to bring Lenny down from a lair under the Vatican.

4. Don’t sleep with a Honduran drug lord’s wife, even if you are the Pope’s friend

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Not a great episode for Andrew. You could even call it “bad.” Let’s run down the highlights:

  • He was drunk and distraught about the suicide of the hopeful priest that ended the previous episode
  • He got propositioned by a wealthy woman in a bathroom and started cackling like a lunatic
  • He jumped in the pool with his clothes on
  • He got sexually assaulted in the back of a luxury sedan and dumped onto the streets of Rome in his underwear
  • He decided to flee Rome and return to Honduras
  • Immediately after getting there, he was picked up by a drug lord and driven out into the barren hills because — surprise! — the woman he had the threesome with the other week was the drug lord’s wife
  • He was murdered, apparently, and left on the side of the road

Like I said, not a great week. And if he’s really dead, it’ll be a shame, because it was all a very rushed, sloppy way to go. Especially the ending. Dude went from “I should go back to Honduras” to dead in field in a matter of minutes. Feels like that could have been stretched into another episode or two. And the drug lord never ever told him they weren’t that different. Like he gave him a whole speech before killing him and never said. What the heck? I thought I knew you, The Young Pope.

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