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28 Reasons Why Black History Month 2014 Was The Absolute Worst Ever!

By / 02.28.14
Terrell and wife

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8. Terrell Owens’ New Wife Attempts To Kill Herself

This isn’t funny, not in the least bit, so we won’t even attempt to crack a joke. Not even a month after marrying former NFL All-Pro wideout Terrell Owens, Rachel Snider filed for divorce and allegedly attempted to take her own life. The reason? She felt T.O. – whose financial problems are well-documented – was using her for her money.

9. Maxwell Not Dropping New Music On Valentine’s Day Like He Said he Would

There’s not much out there in the way of slow jams these days, unless you like songs about the club that rhyme bottles and models. Where is the love? We thought that Maxwell was going to provide it on Valentine’s Day, but apparently he was too busy trimming his soul patch or something.

10. The Michael Dunn Trial

Michael Dunn opened fire on a car full of Black kids because they were playing music too loudly. So clearly his life was in danger. He shot all the of the kids in the car, killing Jordan Davis in the process. The trial revealed that Dunn was guilty of attempted murder but the jury was hung on if he actually murdered Davis. Wait…what? Sigh.

11. The Slam Dunk Contest

The Dunk contest basically took the kiddie “everyone wins” route and it absolutely sucked. R.I.P. to one of the greatest events to happen every February.

12. Charlamagne Tha God Asks People About Black History Month And They Know Nothing

Ubiquitous MTV and New York radio personality Charlamagne Tha God encountered a bunch of walking facepalms at a subway stop, and the ancestors cried out in response. For black history month, Charlemagne showed each idiot pictures of well-know black historical figures…and Tyler Perry. None of these geniuses could identify a picture of Malcolm X, but maybe if Tyler makes Madea By Any Means Necessary, Black History Month will be a little better in 2015.

13. Black Dude Kills Black Teenage Girl Over Egging Incident

I had already typed the word Florida out, before double-checking and confirming that this horrible tragedy actually took place in Arkansas. What would be the appropriate response to a car full of kids throwing eggs and condiments at your car? A call to the police? Informing the neighborhood watch? A middle-aged psycho threw common sense to the side like a shell casing being expelled from a handgun, and instead fired multiple shots into the kids’ fleeing car, killing 15-year-old Adrian Broadway in the process. Mischievous, hell, even bad, kids do not deserve to die. Put the guns down people.

14. Black Chicago Congressman Shoots 100 Pornos In Zimbabwe

So let us get this straight. You’re a former US Senator who went to Zimbabwe on the premise you were the middleman between foreign investors and the tourism industry. However, after some digging, officials find you were the leader of a pornography ring with over 2,000 nude pictures and 100 videos where they hit you with 12 counts of statutory rape, obstruction of justice and solicitation of child porn BEFORE you left your Senate seat. And you piled up $24,500 in debt between two hotels.

You’re an idiot, Melvin Jay Reynolds.


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