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Fast Food Employees Of Reddit Tell You What Never To Order At Your Favorite Fast Food Restaurants

By / 03.06.14
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Some brilliant Reddit user posed the question: “Fast food workers of Reddit, what should we NOT order at your restaurant? Why not?” Not surprising in the least, a decent segment of Reddit users just happen to be fast food workers, so prepare to have your favorite cheap eats ruined for you!

But before we jump into the fray — quick story time. One summer in college I worked at a prominent east coast chain grocery store in the deli/seafood department, and the horrors I uncovered there were endless. We were not allowed to throw anything away. In addition to having to go to the ER twice in three months due to horrendously unsafe working conditions and having to call 911 when two customers got into a fist fight over who was first in line, I experienced the following:

  • If cheese went moldy, we were ordered to cut off the moldy parts and sell it to customers. If deli meat spoiled, we had to sell it anyway.
  • When packaged salads (potato, macaroni, etc.) on the shelves expired, we had to empty them into containers in the deli case and sell them by weight.
  • One weekend we advertised a big promotion on live lobsters. The shipment came and they were all dead. (You can’t cook dead shellfish.) I was ordered to sell the dead lobsters to customers, but after enough livid customers complained we stopped. Three days later they cooked them, wrapped them in cellophane and put them out on the shelves.
  • Unsold rotisserie chickens would go back into one of the refrigerator rooms where they would accumulate for a few weeks until someone (usually me) would have to pick the meat off of the rancid birds. It would then be used to make chicken salad and sold by weight in the deli case.

That was just the tip of the iceberg. Moral of the story is don’t buy anything pre-made from a grocery store. Ever. Anyway, here we go:

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 Starbucks:

Former starbucks worker here. Please don’t order anything off the “Secret Menu”. It doesn’t exist.

If you want a snickerdoodle, nuttella, or captain crunch frappuchino (or whatever other overly sugary thing someone has since come out with), know the base drink and the modifications, and order that. If you just say the name, it’s up to the barista to come up with what’s in the drink, and it may not be what the last barista you ordered from put in there.

As a rule of thumb, you probably shouldn’t ever order a “Captain Crunch Frappuchino” anyway.

Panera Bread:

Panera- pasta; it’s all microwaved, this includes Mac and cheese. Smoothies/frozen drinks- nasty base crap that smells and it’s sticky. Cupcakes/coffee cakes- all come frozen. Best items are the real sandwich/ salads. Real ingredients and usually fresh.

Former panera worker.. Can confirm. Mac & cheese is nasty. Everything else is decent, I’d say you’re being charged too much for the salads for the quality. Soups are premade and frozen. Paninis and sandwiches and bread are good though. Whatever you do, don’t order the steak & blue cheese salad or the lobster sandwich.

I just shuddered uncontrollably at the mystery of why you shouldn’t order a lobster sandwich from Panera Bread.

Little Caesar’s:

Former Little Caesars manager here. Some franchises are different, but I wouldn’t order any Crazy Bread, Jalapeno Bread, or Italian Bread. The shit they dress it with out the oven is NOT butter; it’s some nasty imitation that comes in a huge bottle and does not need to be refrigerated. Also, Hot-N-Readys and Chicken Wings have been known to sit in the warmer for hours at a time until sold.

No mystery here. My husband likes this crap even though it’s fairly obvious that Hot-N-Ready = PIZZA SITTING UNDER A HEAT LAMP.

McDonald’s

I used to work at McDonalds. If you order, especially chicken nuggets, just ask for them fresh. Otherwise they’ve been just sitting in their container in the heat. They have a timer, but 9/10 times when that timer goes off, people just reset the timer instead of making new ones. This could go on until all the nuggets are sold.

I work for Mcdonald’s and make sure everyone that matters to me never orders anything that comes out of the “McCafe” machine as these are routinely neglected, in practically all the McDonalds. Not only are staff not properly trained in its cleaning and maintenance, at almost every McDonalds I’ve had experience with, the managers in charge of training them don’t know fuck all either.

There is a compartment that catches the coffee/espresso grounds and when you take it out there is a hole that gives you access to the inside of the machine. Very dark, can’t be taken apart without someone specialized in servicing it coming it, and normally needs special brushes to be cleaned – I’ve been to a couple different McDonalds and have never seen anyone have the proper ones. A couple of times I stuck my hand in the machine to pull out a literal fist-full of black soot to show to the managers that it’s not in proper condition, and nothing has come of it. The insides are caked with it, the lines where the product comes out as well. Also, I’m not sure about all places but the McDonalds I’m at now also has us cleaning the smoothie machine with fucking glass cleaner. I work nights so unless I really hate the person coming in, I try to play it off like these machines are in their “automatic cleaning cycles” and can’t be used but really I can’t morally justify serving people this (dangerously) sh*tty stuff.

TL;DR: All McCafe beverages run through a horrifically dirty machine – we’re talking 5+ inches of uncleaned, liquid bullshit making up its inside parts, and the smoothies have glass cleaner in them.

McCafe! Ooh la la!

Jack in the Box:

Milkshakes at jack in the box if you’re allergic to fruit.
We do not clean the mixer very well, and it’s used for smoothies and milkshakes. Like, we’re TOLD to just half ass it. In the training video. It’s f*cking ridiculous.

I’m going to award a Lena Dunham-unphotoshopped photo bounty for anyone who can produce this video to me.

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