An Open Letter To NCAA President Mark Emmert From An Ohio State Fan

11.25.12 5 years ago 20 Comments

Mr. Emmert,

Hey, Mark, Ryan Joseph here. You don’t know me, as I’m just some hack from Columbus, Ohio, who watches a lot of college football.

I’m writing you because you’re the guy who presides over the NCAA, which regulates the sport–college football–that I’ve adored since I was little. And because you’re this Kurtz-like figure, I’d assumed you’d be the person I’d have to petition to waive Ohio State’s bowl ban.

I know, I know: Ohio State, under former coach Jim Tressel, broke the “rules.” It’s a shame that former players traded memorabilia for tattoos and then Tress covered it up. They should face the consequences–I get it. But, hey, why not lift it?

By now, you know college football’s current situation: the only two undefeated teams in NCAA FBS football are Ohio State and Notre Dame. The latter will play for a national championship, the other won’t. And maybe Ohio State’s schedule was Pillsbury Doughboy-soft this year (although, I’d argue that Urban and the gang really have no control over Michigan State’s, Michigan’s and Wisconsin’s continued mediocrity). But wouldn’t it be sweet to just waive that bowl ban and make everything simpler for the BCS? You’re currently looking at five (well, after the SEC Championship, four) schools with one-loss records and legitimate gripes to reach Miami.

Lifting Ohio State’s bowl ban would make things so much easier! It would compromise the existence of Mark May (that grumpy ol’ coot you see rambling about how bad Ohio State and Notre Dame are year after year) for the entirety of December and part of January–awesome! His head might even explode on air! And you’d also be guaranteed one undefeated team at the end of the year, which makes it so much easier for fans and pundits to debate how little the champion deserved to go undefeated.

Granted, Mike Silve won’t be privy to the idea and neither will much of the rest of the country. Shoot, the south might go up in flames quicker than Atlanta in 1864. But who cares, right? You have two storied programs in your big money-maker! Playing for it all! And there will be TRADITION! So much win!

To make it easier on everyone involved, you should also move the game to Indianapolis. Indy’s cool (they have this amazing Cajun restaurant called Yats) and the two programs and their fan bases wouldn’t mind. You could even oversee the entire thing to make sure no illegal benefits are exchanged between players and used-car dealerships–or tattoo parlors.

Your move, Mark. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Putting Ohio State in the title game would give the Buckeyes the chance to play some real competition this year–even if the Fighting Irish shove a rosary down the Buckeyes’ throat. At least you, the fans and the voters won’t live with the specter of a potential one-loss national champion when 2012 had another undefeated major conference squad at its disposal.

Yours In Christ,

Ryan M. Joseph

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