10 Songs That Guarantee You Won’t Get Laid Tonight If You Play Them For Your Valentine

You’ve got the flowers. You’ve got the chocolate strawberries. You’ve go the fancy dinner reservation. You’ve got the guy/girl. But what about the music? A successful playlist is of the utmost importance if you plan on getting romantic with your special someone tonight…and none of the following songs should be on it.

But there are millions of sh*tty songs, you might be screaming at your computer right now, why these ten in particular? Well: using Metacritic, I found the 10 “worst” albums of all-time, and picked the ubiquitous love song from each of them. If you play any K-Fed this evening, you don’t deserve to be loved, ever.

“Crazy” by Kevin Federline ft. Britney Spears

Subscribe to UPROXX

Romance-killing line:

Never been a surfer but my chain hang loose
Got so much flavor like 2Pac juice

“I’m the Least You Could Do” by Bloodhound Gang

Romance-killing line:

When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

“Hold Your Gaze” by the Pigeon Detectives

Romance-killing line:

You know it’s true and no surprise
The birds are pecking at my eyes,
You know it’s true, you know it’s true.

“Measure of a Man” by Young Rebel Set

Romance-killing line:

Tell me what’s the measure of a man
Can you find it in the distance that he ran?

Around The Web

Featured

How Learning To Play ‘Magic: The Gathering’ Changed My Life

When The Donald Trump Circus Comes To Your Small Town

25 Years Of ‘What About Bob?,’ An Ensemble Masterpiece Disguised As A Bill Murray Vehicle

‘Potato Chip’: The Behind-The-Scenes Story Of The Weirdest ‘SNL’ Sketch Ever

A Beginning Filmmaker’s Guide To Traveling The World Via Film Festivals

Sailing Across An Ocean Will Change Your Life — Here’s What To Know Before You Go

This 28-Year-Old Master Craftsman Has A Knack For Carving Out Works Of Art

By: 05.11.16

Meat Pies And Pubs: Experiencing The Insanity Of A Premier League Match

You’ll Tell Your Grandkids About Steph Curry’s Historic And Unforgettable Performance In Game 4

The Story Of Frybread — From Cheap Staple To Cultural Touchstone

A Fact-Soaked Odyssey Through Kentucky’s Bourbon Country

This Woman Is Fighting The Stigma Of Sex Work In America In Hopes Of Getting Her Child Back