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ApologetiX Is Your New Favorite Christian Rock Parody Band

By / 01.31.14

ApologetiX

Parody songs aren’t just for Weird Al fans (so, Jews) anymore.

Like the Three Wise Men before them, who brought Jesus presents of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, ApologetiX, a Pittsburgh-based group that “specializes in biblical parodies of rock hits from the 60s through the 90s and today” (poor 2000-2013), have bequeathed the world a gift of their own: their music. ApologetiX formed in 1992 and have since released 19 STUDIO ALBUMS, giving the “Weird Al via Billy Graham” treatment to everyone from Foreigner to Eminem to 3 Doors Down to Bowling for Soup.

track listing

That’s my new favorite album. Their songs are, to quote Death and Taxes, “the complete opposite of funny,” but the production isn’t too shabby — if you stood next to a speaker at a Swans show for an hour, then you might, for the briefest of seconds, mistake “Enter Samson” for the Metallica original. Maybe.

“Monkeys for Uncles” (“Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits)

“Downer of a Sister” (“Chop Suey” by System of a Down)

“Are You Gonna Be Ike’s Girl?” (“Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” by Jet)

“Mary’s Got a Son” (“Janie’s Got a Gun” by Aerosmith)

“Weep Jeremiah” (“Sweet Child o’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses)

“Enter Samson” (“Enter Sandman” by Metallica)

That right there, it’s the Jesus of Christian rock parody songs, meaning it’s the best.

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