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Lorde Is 17 Years Old, Unless She Isn’t

By / 01.29.14

Lorde’s real name is ALLEGEDLY Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O’Connor. Lorde was ALLEGEDLY born on November 7, 1996. That means Lorde is ALLEGEDLY 17 years old. OR IS SHE? Yes, yes she is, but this is a real “scandal” that real people are talking about, so much so that the Hairpin requested, and received, a copy of her birth certificate.

lorde bitch certificate

Hm. This solves nothing; it looks like a print-out from your middle school computer in 1999. Then there’s this:

John Key, the New Zealand prime minister, and therefore man who said to Lorde “let me be your ruler”, played golf with Barack Obama, the Kenya-born president, in Hawaii the other day. (Via)

My god, this goes all the way to the top. Lorde is 17, Lorde is 49, Lorde is every age.

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Banner via Getty Image, via the Hairpin


TOPICS#MUSIC NEWS
TAGSconspiraciesLORDE

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