Are you enjoying your Monday morning? Maybe having a nice egg n’ ham bagel with a coffee? Let’s see if we can’t completely gross you the eff out.
Fresh off our story of a man with two penises, another man with the curious handle TBoneTheOriginal has completed a Reddit AMA about his “severe pilonidal cysts.” What are “severe pilonidal cysts” you ask? Why, just — WARNING, don’t click here, he has no buttcrack — click here. Seriously why are you clicking here? (NSFW)
Yep, meet the least popular man in prison.
“I’ve had multiple surgeries on it, and instead of the usual procedure which involves letting it heal, mine was so bad that a plastic surgeon had to close it up. But they keep coming back, and it’ll probably just get worse as I age.”
Upon being asked if girls love or hate it:
“I’m married, and she’s cool with it.”
And as to the question on everyone’s mind:
How do you poop?
Like anyone else. It’s wiping that I have to be careful with.
No “release the butt-crackin!” jokes? C’mon Reddit commenters, you disappoint me.
Let this be a lesson to us all – while we’re wiping away, tossin’ Charmin down the toilet like we don’t care, there’s one guy who is literally losing his s**t over having to wipe his butt. You can read the entire AMA here if you’re half-assing it at work today.
Two dicks? No ass-crack? Jesus, slow down Internet, it’s not even February yet.