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Holy Sh*t, People Living In The South Seriously Do Not Know How To Drive In An Ice Storm

By 02.12.14

SOUTHERN STORM

Basically, if you live in any state in the southeast right now — and I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know when I say this — you’re pretty much screwed. Not to brag or anything, since I live in Philadelphia — which is going to be hit with this winter storm later tonight — and I literally just ate the last two pieces of bread. So why am I bringing this up? I happened to be watching an ABC News report of this week’s winter storm, with copious footage of cars just totally eating it out there, and all I could think was DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN WHY ARE THEY DRIVING SO FAST? Listen: If you’re going to drive 50+mph on a highway covered in a sheet of ice, your car is going to spin faster than an Olympic figure skater. Ice does not give a sh*t about your 4-wheel drive.

Seriously though, people, be safe and stay indoors — until, I don’t know, April?

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