The massive, poo-squirting sh*tshow that has become the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics are getting sh*tshowier by the second. The latest scandal involves Russian officials refusing to let a precious, precious cargo of Chobani yogurt to our Olympic athletes. The shipment of 5,000 containers of yogurt is currently sitting in limbo at Newark Liberty International Airport. Oh, for f*ck’s sake. Take it away, New York Times:
The blockade has prompted protests from yogurt-promoting politicians in New York and in Washington, who express outrage that American athletes could be deprived of a protein-rich food that had been part of their training regimen.
The Russian government says the American-made yogurt cannot enter Russia because the Americans have not submitted the proper paperwork. The United States says the certification required by the Russians would be impossible to attain.
The yogurt makers are growing exasperated.
“I’d like to think that yogurt could have diplomatic immunity,” said Peter McGuinness, the chief marketing and brand officer for Chobani.
Diplomatic immunity? This is Sochi we’re talking about here. These are the people who are murdering stray dogs and putting surveillance cameras in their hotel bathrooms. I can’t imagine that the nutrition of Olympic athletes is very high on their list of priorities right now. Chobani probably would have had an easier time getting their shipment through if they had labeled the cargo “baby laxative” or “recreational anthrax.”
I want more like this!
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