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Sochi Olympics Officials: Everything Is Fine Because Our Shower Surveillance Tells Us So

By 02.06.14

The 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia are gearing up to be everything we thought it would be. Pooping next to your friend, falling into a sewer, acid water, injury causing events, dog holocaust, tents over buildings, and so on, but thankfully, officials are here to assure us that the hotel situation is fine because their shower surveillance tells them so. Via The Wall Street Journal:

“We have surveillance video from the hotels that shows people turn on the shower, direct the nozzle at the wall and then leave the room for the whole day,” he said. An aide then pulled a reporter away before Mr. Kozak could be questioned further on surveillance in hotel rooms. “We’re doing a tour of the media center,” the aide said.

SOUNDS GOOD! Nothing to worry about anymore, you guys. The shower surveillance of the journalists, athletes, and visitors works just fine. Who are the people that are turning on the showers, pointing the nozzle at the wall, and leaving all day? Who does that? But, it doesn’t seem all that bad, right?

Asked about the widely reported problems with hotel rooms not being ready for guests, he was dismissive. “We’ve put 100,000 guests in rooms and only gotten 103 registered complaints and every one of those is being taken care of,” he said. (It wasn’t clear what Mr. Kozak was counting as a registered complaint.)

103 complaints out of 100,000 rooms? Not too shabby. I’m sure others would’ve complained, but they probably got chased out by a dog that also resided in the room. These journalists are reporting such rubbish! These complaints are nothing at all. NOTHING AT ALL!

NED SKIING BUTT THE SIMPSONS

“I’m very offended that the closer we get to the opening of the Olympics, the more hysteria around Russia becomes inflamed in the Western media,” he wrote. “There’s not a word about the quality of the Olympic facilities, about the fact that the level of readiness of the Olympic infrastructure has no analogues in the world.”

I hope there are documentaries being made in Sochi right now. I will watch them on repeat for the length of the Olympics. The only thing that could be worse than the actual Olympics will be NBC’s coverage of it.

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Source: Wall Street Journal, Gizmodo, Banner via Getty


TAGS2014 winter olympicsdisastergovernment surveillanceRUSSIASOCHISochi Olympics

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