Matthew Bossard, 32, and Leticia Kagele, 36, scared the unholy crap out of a couple of teenagers working at “Whirled Pies” (OF COURSE that’s what it’s called) in Eugene, Oregon when — after being asked to leave the restaurant at closing time — the couple returned, broke into the restaurant and used homemade moonshine to light the curtains on fire. Also, they were very, very drunk, if the context of the story didn’t already suggest as much.
The hell? I thought Oregonites were supposed to be a peaceful people. Fox 12 Oregon reported:
After they left, the employees locked the door to the business. Police said Bossard and Kagele returned and began pounding on the door. The frightened employees called 911, police said, and then moved into the basement.
Bossard and Kagele broke the glass out of the front door and forced their way into the building, investigators said. The suspects are then accused of removing a curtain from the broken window and using it as a wick to light some of the homemade moonshine they were carrying on fire. Police said the liquid was ignited and thrown into the restaurant.
I hate to say it, but I can totally empathize with these two. When I get hungry enough, sometimes it makes me so angry that I feel like I could punch a hole through the fabric of existence. You throw alcohol into the equation and I cannot be held responsible for my actions. I would probably set a homeless man on fire if it meant the difference between having pizza and not having pizza.