It’s the most talked-about pile of puke since the last time Donald Trump did anything: Jennifer Lawrence said that during an Oscars after-party hosted by Madonna, she got drunk and vomited in front of Miley Cyrus. Oh, that J-Law, she’s so relatable. I’ve drunk-vomited, she’s drunk-vomited, let’s drunk-vomit together. Lawrence even went on Late Night with Seth Meyers to talk about it.
BUT DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? *close-up shot of a skeptical dog*
I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m going to tell my only real friend, this Nigerian prince who keeps badgering me about sending him money or something, all about it. He wouldn’t lie.