Burr turns 46 today, and while I’m sure he can still find things to get heated about, a new marriage and flourishing career probably aren’t on the list. When he does get riled up, however, no one on the planet is better at channeling their anger into a razor-sharp joke.
In celebration of Bill Burr’s hilarity/anger, I’ve lined up seven of his angriest clips on YouTube, each with an official ranking on the Billy Burr anger meter. May this be a happy year for you, Mr. Burr — just not too happy.
#7: We Need a Plague
Because of Egg McMuffins — and every airport having a Cinnabon — the human race is evolving into a species of pale, flabby, Jabba the Hutt-type creatures, and Bill Burr knows that a good plague is needed. Put on a sweater, you’ll be fine. Score: 5
#6: White Guilt
Bill Burr only has so much white guilt to go around, and there might not be enough left for Terrence Howard’s swim team. Score: 5.5
#5: How Women Argue
It’s not about landing the winning punch, but remaining levelheaded, taking a knee and enjoying the “champagne of victory” that goes with it. Score: 6.5
#4: Grocery Shopping
Self-automated check-out machines equal the end of cashiers, but they also equal the beginning of Bill Burr’s ham bowling league. Score: 7
#3: The Most Difficult Job
A few months ago when that viral video of the “world’s toughest job” was floating around, I would undoubtedly see somebody in a comment thread link to this clip. Being a mom is often a thankless job, but that doesn’t mean Burr is going to let the back-patting go unchecked. Score: 8
#2: Just Some Guy
People get angry about religion for an infinite number of reasons, but for Bill Burr it’s as simple as some guy named Jerry speaking in Old English. Nobody should tell a man when he can eat a cheeseburger or jerk it. Score: 9
Bill Burr is not a muffin guy. Score: 10