Whenever I look at a picture of Angelina Jolie or watch one of her movies, I’m scared. But I’m also excited. She’s, in the immortal words of Charlie Kelly, a WILD CARD — you’re not sure whether she’s going to curl up into a purring ball beside you, or slash your face off with her cheekbone-sharp claws. (Apologies for the overused “actress as cat” comparison, but she did just play a witch, so…)
Jolie’s had an impressively varied career — she’s done everything from dumb video game movie sequels, to playing an Oscar-nominated metal asylum patient, to small passion projects. She’s also appeared naked in at least a dozen of her films, but isn’t defined by her willingness to take her clothes off. Jolie’s good in bad movies and great in good ones, and somewhere in-between in unnecessarily “gritty” reboots, or whatever you want to call Maleficent. So today, on her 39th birthday, let’s take a look at some of her most essential GIFs, ranked in order from sexy to sexy-scary.
Starting to get intimidated.
Those eyes, tho.
I know I am.
It’s a metaphor?
And we’ve reached full “she’s going to kill me, isn’t she?”
Try to guess where this GIF lands on Barney’s Hot/Crazy Scale.
WHATEVER YOU SAY, ANGIE.
I want more like this!
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